Rich Fettke

Find a Scrap Piece of Paper

Posted on 16. Nov, 2009 by Rich Fettke.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." -Gandhi

Find a scrap piece of paper.  Got it?  Now imagine that this piece of scrap paper is you.  Let’s say that you promised a friend that you would meet him for lunch at noon.  But at twelve you are still at your office replying to an e-mail someone sent you about a possible new business opportunity.  You finally buzz out the door at 12:10 and you arrive at the café at 12:25.  Your friend is waiting there, concerned and frustrated.  Your excuse? “Sorry, I just had to handle something at the office.”

To represent this event, tear off a small piece of that scrap paper.

Now, imagine that you made a promise to your child that you would take her to the park after school.  But when you pick up your kid your excuse is, “Oh, I’m sorry honey.  I’ve got to go by the post office and we won’t have time to go to the park today.”

To represent this event, tear off another piece of that scrap paper.

Go ahead and rip off a piece of paper for every resolution you didn’t keep, an agreement you broke, or a goal you abandoned.  After ripping off all of those pieces, look at the small piece of paper you have left over.  Do you know what that’s called?  A flake.  Not much of anything, is it?  Whether it’s a promise you make to yourself or to someone else, it doesn’t serve anyone when you’re a flake.

In contrast, when you do what you say you’ll do something very powerful happens.  You prove to yourself that you can be counted on.  When you can count on yourself — no matter what the situation is – your self-esteem (and your happiness) expands.

Isn’t that worth focus and action?

NOTE: Please don’t think that I’m saying, "I never flake."  Whatever I write or speak about is also for me to examine and take in.  Like you, I strive to be the best person I can be.  As I read this issue, I was thinking, "Okay Rich, how can YOU better live this lesson?"

ACTION IDEA:

Starting right now — make only promises that you can keep and keep the promises you make.  You’ll be amazed at what it will do for your relationships, your business, and your peace of mind.
 

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Are You Kidding Yourself?

Posted on 16. Nov, 2009 by Rich Fettke.

“The first act of self-responsibility, and the base of all the others, is the act of taking responsibility for being conscious – that is, of bringing an appropriate awareness to our activities.”
-Nathaniel Branden, author of Taking Responsibility

As human beings we are so good at justifying and rationalizing why we aren’t living the way we want to live.

The person who wants to lose weight over-eats and then says, "Well, I had a tough day…I need the energy." A working mom who wants to spend more quality time with her kids ends up vegging out in front of the TV and then says, "I worked a lot today…I deserve to kick back and relax." The salesperson who wants to reach more prospects keeps putting off his phone calls and says, "I need to organize my sock drawer."

Okay, maybe that last one is a bit exaggerated, but it’s probably happened!

The bottom line is that – at times – we all create excuses and kid ourselves about why we don’t do what’s best for us. The problem is that we often don’t even realize it!

I don’t know where you might be kidding yourself — but you probably know. So my request is that you take a look by following the Action Idea below.

Right now, stop. Ask yourself this question: "Where have I been kidding myself? Be honest. Once you have your answer, you’ll know what to do next. My challenge to you is to do something about it by the end of this week. What have you been putting off that could move you toward what you really want?

NOTE: One of the most helpful strategies to create positive change is setting up support. Tell a friend, coach or "success partner" what your new commitment to action is and you will increase your chance of success 1,000%.

I would love to help support you in taking action. Send me a message here with the commitment you are making for this week. Then, next week, send me another message me with your results. If you have followed through then we will celebrate! If you have not taken action, I will reply to you with a strategy or challenge to help you do so.

Bottom line — when you are truly committed to your goal you will welcome accountability.

I wish you the best.

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Affirming Your Success

Posted on 16. Nov, 2009 by Rich Fettke.

"I nourish my body with just the right amount of healthy, nutritious foods."

"I am a loving husband and father who lives a high-quality life."

"My work is helping people get the most out of life."

These are a few of the affirmations I say to myself each day. Over the past twenty years, I have read dozens of books, listened to hundreds of tapes, and attended countless seminars to help me grow both personally and professionally. One of the lessons I frequently heard in my studies, was to use the power of affirmations to be, do and have what I most want in life. I didn’t really buy it. I thought, "How can just saying some words to myself over and over make any difference in my life?" Now I know different.

Over the past few years I have experimented with affirmations. I’ve followed the timeless lessons: Write them down, phrase them in positive language, say them throughout the day, etc. Now I find myself praising the benefits of this "Success Ritual" with my coaching clients, when I speak, and when I write. (I’m actually doing it right now)

Tony Collette, a major contributor in the field of autosuggestion, defines affirmations as "positive statements about yourself or a situation spoken in the first person and present tense. They describe what you want to be, what you want to have, how you want to live."

If you want to be, do and have what you want most in life, I strongly suggest you add affirmations to your daily success habits.

ACTION IDEA:

Write out at least three affirmations based on your goals or on qualities you wish to further develop in yourself. Write them in positive language (not "I won’t…" or "I don’t…"). Read them when you wake up, before every meal, and right before you go to bed. Do this consistently for 30 days and notice how affirmations can work for you.

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Ask Yourself “WAIT”

Posted on 01. Jan, 2008 by Rich Fettke.

"Many people who have the gift of gab don’t know how to wrap it up." -Arnold H. Glasow

ASK YOURSELF, "WHY AM I TALKING?"

There’s an old saying in sales that goes – "You have two ears and one mouth, use them in that ratio." Many people don’t realize that the easiest way to be a great conversationalist is by NOT talking. Have you ever noticed people that seem to be giving you a monologue when they are talking to you? They don’t give you a chance to share your ideas or input and they go on and on about themselves. How do you feel when that happens?

When we are talking it is almost impossible to hear what the other person is really saying. This is a common cause of relationship problems and lack of support for each other. If people would just take the time to really listen to each other they would see a major improvement in their relationships and their lives. A simple way to remember this principle is the acronym WAIT.

    Why
    Am
     I
    Talking?

I have a little sign at my desk that simply says WAIT. When I am coaching a client and I find myself looking to give them my view or knowledge, I look over at this sign and I ask myself, "Why am I talking?" Am I not allowing this person to tap into his or her own wisdom? Am I focusing on being right and having the answer for them? Am I uncomfortable with the silence? (Which is often where the best answers are found.)

If you want to improve your relationships, your partnerships and your life, remember to WAIT. You will most likely be surprised at the learning and the benefit that you, and the person you are communicating with, receive.

ACTION IDEA:

Remember "WAIT" in three of your conversations this week – and notice what you learn.

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